20-Something and stuck in transition?


By Riana Milne The Pineapple Contributing Writer Recently in my Coaching Practice I am seeing more women and men ages 24 – 34 come in for Life and Love Coaching. The choices you make during these years are pivotal to establishing one’s entire life path. Those in their younger twenties are worried about career decisions. There is nothing like the feeling that “You did it!” when you graduated from college. No matter your age, this is certainly a milestone to be proud of. However, this also starts a major life transition; as you dream of things to come, and yet, worry – where will this all lead me? Great paying jobs are still hard to acquire, and many companies have eliminated benefits, or only hire part time employees. So where do you go from here? Many college kids come home. Once home, they often get stuck doing a local job at minimum wage. There may be college loans that overwhelm them or their family – and often there is guilt, anxiety and depression which develops because “they feel lost.” They are searching for meaning and purpose in life, and can’t seem to pull it all together. Many in college do their final course work in an internship, only to find that they hate the area that they just got a degree in – making them even more stressed out. Sometimes, the changes in emotion causes one to self-medicate with alcohol or other substances, or they begin to seek casual hook ups in dating just to feel a temporary sense of fun, attention or love. However, all temporary self-medication makes you feel miserable afterwards leading to depression and moodiness with your parents and loved ones. Parents become resentful as they are trying to save for retirement and seem confused on how to help their adult kids. This is when they hire a Certified Coach like me and have their children enter a 3 or 6 month Life Transformation program that has them refocus and set new goals that bring them clarity, confidence and direction. It helps to launch them onward to a life they can be proud of, and move them out of the family home to a happy, independent life. Clients who are ages 27 to 34 are often those who went on to a Bachelor and Master’s program, lived at home to save money, or are working hard at their careers. They are confident about their jobs and income but feel a deep sense of loneliness and wonder, “Is this all there is?” They now want love, marriage and a family. With horrendous apps like Tinder, they are stuck in today’s “hook-up heaven” and mostly find heart-ache. Many become so traumatized while dating they became afraid to try to find an emotionally, evolved healthy Love. Unfortunately, they never teach this course at school! Their parents may have married and divorced several times, or stayed unhappily married for many years “for the kids.” Society in general has lost the golden age of proper values, morals, integrity and honesty in love relationships. They often feel “all the good ones are taken” and live a life of quiet despair. This is when they come to me as their Love Coach – to change negative dating patterns and thinking of lack into positive choices and thinking of abundance. They learn exactly what to look for in choosing a date and what questions to ask while dating. They understand all the warning signs of the toxic personality types who could hurt them and notice when they emerge, leading them to be more self-protective and move on. I help raise their self-esteem and dating confidence because they must be a Successful Single feeling fabulous about themselves and life – to attract another wonderful person who is ready for love and commitment. We look at the triggers that may emerge from early childhood family situations – that could be sabotaging them while dating or in love relationships. You cannot change what you don’t understand, therefore, together we honestly explore their past, forgive it, than move forward with consciously healthy choices that will only be in their best interests. Coaching provides an education for Life and Love that lasts forever – and if they can choose the right person the first time, it saves a life-time of heartache. Your twenties is a time to be brave and go for your dreams! It starts by focusing on you, setting personal goals, starting your career while building positive friendships and enjoyable dating relationships. You can proceed successfully through “The Traumatic, Twenties Transition.” Don’t be afraid to get help from a Certified Life or Love Coach along the way, it will save you time, anxiety and aggravation as you become confident and refocused on a new you and the amazing world you will create! Riana Mine, MA, LMHC, CAP is a Certified, World-wide Relationship & Life Coach, Licensed Mental Health Counselor and Cert. Addictions Professional at Therapy by the Sea; 15300 Jog Rd, Suite 109, Delray Beach. Riana is also a published author and motivational speaker. Her free App: My Relationship Coach offers many articles and her books, LIVE Beyond Your Dreams – from Fear and Doubt to Personal Power, Purpose and Success, and LOVE Beyond Your Dreams – Break Free of Toxic Relationships to Have the Love You Deserve addresses relationships with yourself and others. www.RianaMilne.com or email RianaMilne@gmail.com. Skype Coaching and FB: coachrianamilne. Delray office (561) 701-8277; cell: 201-281-7887