Vaseline: Tried, True and Cheap the Old-School Yellow Goop Makes a Comeback

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By Rigel Herman The Pineapple Staff Writer

This month, in lieu of my regular Fashion Column, I decided to try to unlock the secrets of “celebrity beauty routines”. I mean, come on, there are so many of these said “secrets” out there, it begs us to wonder ,A. which ones are worth a damn and B. are they really “secrets” if they’re published in every fashion magazine and beauty blog…not to mention are they paid to endorse said product and “secret”? Because there are so many, I chose to try just one to start. After reading about Vaseline for a week, “Jennifer Aniston Uses It!” and “She’s Perfect!” I went out and bought a tub of the tobacco stained finger colored goo and put it right on my sink, where I couldn’t forget about it. As an adult, choosing a moisturizer is like deciding which ice cream flavor to get as a kid; they all look so darn good. Allegedly, celebrity trend-setter and serious beauty, Jennifer Aniston, said recently that her secret weapon against tired eyes and crows feet is none other than the $2.49, no-frills Vaseline. She apparently slathers the petroleum-based product on her eyes every night before bed. Vaseline has been around forever and relative to most products on the market, it’s obviously on the (very) inexpensive side. And the list of uses is extensive. From healing minor cuts and burns to do it yourself lip gloss recipes, the tub of oily, salve is a staple in many home medicine cabinets.

Perhaps Aniston was taking a cue from her actress predecessor, Doris Day in choosing Vaseline. Day wrote in her autobiography, “Doris Day: My Own Story,” that she slathered her entire body with the stuff every night before bed. She wore socks, long-sleeves and pants to seal in the moisture and protect her sheets. It was this routine that she claimed gave her the softest, smoothest skin in Hollywood. If you’ve been searching for the perfect moisturizer Vaseline is retro, hip and a no- brainer to try. Additionally, legend has it that coating your eyelashes with it before bed helps them grow thicker and longer. For less than the price of a latte, what have we got to lose? Buyer beware, though, it’s not the best lip balm. I found that it leaves a gross residue on my lips that looks white and scary and doesn’t really soak in. Wondering now why we never hear about Angelina’s Secret Beauty Regim? Is she really too busy visiting Syrian refugees to care about her skin and eyelashes? Things that make you go hhhmmm…