What is Love Trauma?


By Riana Milne The Pineapple Contributing Writer When you are falling in Love, it is the most magical of moments, and one of life’s happiest pleasures. However, when Love turns toxic, it is one of the most painful, and often, traumatic experiences, which can often cause long-term, emotional wounds. Right before, during or after a painful breakup, those experiencing toxic love have physical symptoms which include: stress, anxiety, depression, flu, headaches, lack of sleep, stomach aches, heart pains, panic attacks, crying jags, foggy memory, short patience, overall lack of joy in life, loss of self and lowered self-esteem, and fear of being alone or abandoned. Known as Love Trauma, it is a psychological condition that develops in response to a dysfunctional or failed love relationship; and it can be more serious than most people realize. With each effort to find a quality loving relationship, if one suffers with a second toxic partner – either the trauma experienced is ten times worse – or with help from a Certified Relationship & Love Coach, they are quicker to identify the warning signs and leave the toxic partner or emotional manipulator before getting traumatized by them. The DSM-IV-TR Diagnostic manual from the American Psychiatric Association, defines PTSD – (Post Traumatic Distress Disorder); which most people hear about happening in our soldiers during or after war, or occurring when you suddenly loose a loved one. However, situations in a relationship – like discovering your spouse cheated, ripped you off or lied and manipulated you, or constantly fights or disrespects you by using emotional, physical or verbal abuse; these are all situations where Love trauma exists. This happens to many men and women, straight or gay, of all ages and cultures; leading to fear, anger, loss, emotional upset and frequent crying; while they try to deal with their broken heart. They are often ashamed of the situation and isolate themselves; greatly affecting their well-being, career, and social life. Love obsession towards the mate that did you wrong is common, which makes the damaged partner want to stalk, spy on, or attack the partner that hurt them. Suicide and murder can be a sad result of severe Love Trauma. Know that mourning a lost love relationship is common, and to feel devastated is nothing to be ashamed of. It takes time to heal, as the effects of trauma actually causes changes within the brain. It is best to immediately see a Love/Relationship Coach, to give them the details of the situation and to work together to get you past the trauma and pain. Commit to treating yourself with gentle love; this is a great time to start taking care of YOU. Become very active – find hobbies, seek out friends, get busy with a new work project, read motivational spiritual books, exercise and eat super healthy. Try to find some good lessons out of the bad situation, and dedicate yourself to learning what you need to know to avoid toxic love next time. Sadly, often the wounded want to avoid falling in Love all together, or immediately enter into “hook ups” to prove their worthiness and sexual attraction. This leads to more complications and deeper feelings of emptiness. Listen to motivational tapes that will increase your sense of faith and personal self-esteem. Your Coach will start you on the journey to healing and personal transformation, creating the successful, empowered Single you can, and need to be, before dating again. Remember, the world is abundant and you will be blessed with a new, emotionally healthy, Evolved mate who will cherish, respect and love you! Riana Mine, MA, LMHC, CAP is a Certified, World-wide Relationship & Life Coach, Licensed Mental Health Counselor and Cert. Addictions Professional at Therapy by the Sea; 15300 Jog Rd, Suite 109, Delray Beach. Riana is also a published author and motivational speaker. www.RianaMilne.com or email RianaMilne@gmail.com. Skype Coaching and FB:coachrianamilne. Delray office (561)701-8277; cell: 201-281-7887